Heard the one about Immaculate Conception?

This has been a week of endlessly germinating thoughts and unpublished blog posts because I don't seem to be able to find the time to see a single idea from start to end. Even writing for work has been trying and I haven't been able to find 5 minutes for a run. Why? I'm blaming … Continue reading Heard the one about Immaculate Conception?

Inconceivable

Finally got around to reading Inconceivable: A Woman's Triumph over Despair and Statistics by Julia Indichova (it's also available for Kindle here), and it's one of the best captures of the rawness and desperation of infertility that I have read to date. It's been around since 1997, and I'm not sure how I've managed not … Continue reading Inconceivable

On dark places

One of the biggest issues for women going through IVF (or at least the ones I know) is how isolating it all feels. You struggle with feeling like a failure as a woman and human being. You view the "you had one job" memes differently when you're can't fulfill your basic biological destiny. You're stuck … Continue reading On dark places

The Big Thaw

Sorry about the silence. I needed the technology detox and the plan was, in that quiet, to try and listen a little closer both to me and the world around me. Of course, I did none of that, but it was both liberating not to worry about charging my phone and empowering to categorically ignore … Continue reading The Big Thaw

When words fail

A blogger friend sent love for our loss today. She had just miscarried too, she said. I felt a spanner in my gut tighten, my stomach lurching slightly. Fresh from another early loss, I knew her pain acutely. The gaping hole in my belly, and in my heart. I felt her hug from afar, a … Continue reading When words fail

Change in scenery

Quickly chiming in from the other end of the world after a crazy number of plane rides (blame summer prices) and way too much bad airplane food. We're in the motherland visiting the in-laws, and so begins a little time with family, nature, and some quiet from everyday life. Including... nah, perhaps especially... assisted baby-making … Continue reading Change in scenery

The Numbers Game

Our Day Two Fertilisation Report is in. It is... less mind-blowing that we hoped. I guess I was right to stop myself from some kind of unicorns-farting-rainbows post yesterday after hearing that 17 of the 23 eggs retrieved were mature and 14 had fertilised. Those were the best numbers we had ever seen. Even my embryologist and acupuncturist … Continue reading The Numbers Game

Ms Egg, meet Mr Sperm

I'm at a 'cusp of something' moment: I did my trigger shot last night and the retrieval is tomorrow. More bloated/uncomfortable than previous cycles and doc's a tad concerned about Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS), but I'm hoping that its close enough to the border for it to be a non-event. I am currently giving the girls their final … Continue reading Ms Egg, meet Mr Sperm

Almost-Mother’s Day

Mother's Day is tough for the mother-in-waiting (wanting?). Not that the other 364 days a year that you suffer from infertility are a whole lot easier. But as many in the world count down to that special Sunday (May 13 where I am), it gets harder to ignore the gnawing feeling in my belly (it's not … Continue reading Almost-Mother’s Day

Soundtrack for a cycle

"Oh I might have to wait I'll never give up I guess it's half timing and the other half's luck Wherever you are Whenever it's right You'll come out of nowhere and into my life" - Micheal Bublé, Haven't Met You Yet I have a little ritual. Ahead of each cycle, I put together a … Continue reading Soundtrack for a cycle