Another day, another failed cycle. I can't say I am surprised - I had given in and taken a HPT yesterday so the beta hcg result was not entirely unexpected. But that's the thing about hope. Even after five botched cycles, even after all the heartbreak, even after all the misadventures, even after all the … Continue reading Game over. Again
So I'm four days (well five, really) into this two-week wait. Which also isn't really two weeks. My pregnancy test is on Monday, September 10, which will be 12 days past my Aug 29 transfer. No idea why it's slightly shorter this time... Perhaps it has to do with the fact that this was a … Continue reading Baby G on board – 4dpt
Ok, 12 hours to my transfer (FET), and this is now OFFICIALLY "The Different Cycle". And, like I said the last time, if this cycle really is all that different, it will end with me bringing home baby. Figured I might as well capture the details of this just in case. If it works, I … Continue reading Mixing it all up
This has been a week of endlessly germinating thoughts and unpublished blog posts because I don't seem to be able to find the time to see a single idea from start to end. Even writing for work has been trying and I haven't been able to find 5 minutes for a run. Why? I'm blaming … Continue reading Heard the one about Immaculate Conception?
Work has meant blogging has fallen by the wayside, but I had my CD9 scan today and my lining has clocked in at a healthy 8mm! Eight, incidentally, is a number I like, and also sounds like the Mandarin word for prosperity (发) and so is considered especially auspicious. I'm not Chinese, but I'll take … Continue reading Was it something I 8?
This script-to-screen of the opening sequence of Up found me by coincidence today. I clicked, of course. Now, let me just say that I have watched Up at least four times. I adored it every single time. It is a beautifully-executed animation that is sad, but also funny and hopeful. I was heartbroken for Carl … Continue reading Up, up and away
And for today's ever-hopeful, slightly deranged, will-I-ever-get-knocked-up tune, I present... https://open.spotify.com/track/5Th6EdNVhxp0TPX41ZLZk6?si=g7UmbMW6TL6MIiIkDWmsXg Made ya laugh, I hope 😉 T minus 7/8 days to lift off. CW.
If there is one thing that dominates conversations in every TTC (trying to conceive) and IVF chat group I have ever been in, it's pee. Did you POAS (pee on a stick - referring to a home pregnancy test)? Should I POAS? When are you POASing (yes, a verb too!)? Is it too early to … Continue reading On Pee(r) Pressure
I started acupuncture again yesterday and didn't realise how much I needed it/would enjoy it. Those 40 minutes - when I put my phone on flight mode and listen to new age fertility meditation tunes (I'm usually asleep by track 3/4) - are a welcome respite from the chaos of my workday and, as importantly, … Continue reading Prickly realities
One of the biggest issues for women going through IVF (or at least the ones I know) is how isolating it all feels. You struggle with feeling like a failure as a woman and human being. You view the "you had one job" memes differently when you're can't fulfill your basic biological destiny. You're stuck … Continue reading On dark places