When words fail

A blogger friend sent love for our loss today. She had just miscarried too, she said. I felt a spanner in my gut tighten, my stomach lurching slightly. Fresh from another early loss, I knew her pain acutely. The gaping hole in my belly, and in my heart. I felt her hug from afar, a … Continue reading When words fail

Change in scenery

Quickly chiming in from the other end of the world after a crazy number of plane rides (blame summer prices) and way too much bad airplane food. We're in the motherland visiting the in-laws, and so begins a little time with family, nature, and some quiet from everyday life. Including... nah, perhaps especially... assisted baby-making … Continue reading Change in scenery

The Land of What Ifs and Buts

(Update below) It has been a 24-hour period of the highest high and one of the lowest lows I have ever experienced in a cycle. Sheer impatience, weird signs and a touch of nausea meant I caved yesterday (at 10dpt4dt) and peed on a stick. Opted for a Clearblue digital (expectation management since it requires … Continue reading The Land of What Ifs and Buts

It’s good to be bad

Post-retrieval treat: DOUBLE-shot cappuccino. Ola caffeine my old friend (no judging). Numbers game: 23 eggs retrieved. "Some big, some small" was all the embryologist would say, though she promises to play the embryos music to help them along. Holding breath until we hear back on a few details in 24 hours. Well, holding breath and … Continue reading It’s good to be bad

Ms Egg, meet Mr Sperm

I'm at a 'cusp of something' moment: I did my trigger shot last night and the retrieval is tomorrow. More bloated/uncomfortable than previous cycles and doc's a tad concerned about Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome (OHSS), but I'm hoping that its close enough to the border for it to be a non-event. I am currently giving the girls their final … Continue reading Ms Egg, meet Mr Sperm

Why, hello there!

I've been hiding. "Quiet" seemed like a suitable setting given the combination of both Mother's Day and a bad case of the jitters following my cycle start, which led to nightmares about vacant ovaries, my exes, and black bear attacks in New York (not all in the same night, although that could have made for a … Continue reading Why, hello there!

Shoot ’em up

So the cycle is a go (Cue: fireworks and marching bands). After a quick look under the hood (thin lining and happy ovaries on Day 2) I started on Gonal-F (Follitropin Alfa) and Pergoveris (Follitropin Alfa + Lutropin Alfa) shots today. My next scan is on Tuesday, at which point we will find out if … Continue reading Shoot ’em up

Almost-Mother’s Day

Mother's Day is tough for the mother-in-waiting (wanting?). Not that the other 364 days a year that you suffer from infertility are a whole lot easier. But as many in the world count down to that special Sunday (May 13 where I am), it gets harder to ignore the gnawing feeling in my belly (it's not … Continue reading Almost-Mother’s Day

In other words: A three-day quote challenge #2

Day two of the three-day quote challenge I was tagged in. It's just a bit of fun, and a chance to share some of the wisdom we've encountered (#1 is here). Anyway, these are the game rules: Thank the person who nominated you. [Thanks, Amy from Awakening Wildflower. Everyone, do check out her blog, it's … Continue reading In other words: A three-day quote challenge #2