When I grow up…

I've been mulling over what it will mean if we are never successful in our quest to have children, and all ideas I ever had about what my future would look like are short-circuited: There would be no first steps or first words No messy diaper changes or stroller wheels broken by European cobblestones No … Continue reading When I grow up…

Ten things your infertile friend may not have told you

If you know someone going through IVF, it might feel tricky trying to tippy-toe around the issue. Here are some things I wish I could just come out and tell some of the people around me: 1. You don't have to bubble wrap conversations, but be mindful of the kinds of things you say: She … Continue reading Ten things your infertile friend may not have told you

Christmas …

Merry Christmas everyone! It certainly has been a while. I had to press the pause button on the baby plans for a bit. Got felled by the flu and it was a long drawn nightmare. Thankfully, I was close enough to 90% to put together a Christmas Eve countdown and a Christmas Day dinner, and … Continue reading Christmas …

A song for today

A Million Dreams: Because I needed a lift, and also because I found The Greatest Showman Reimagined album. This video of Pink recording the song (and the reprise) with her daughter also made my heart melt (and break a little). Incidentally, this song has been a part of pretty much every IVF playlist I have made … Continue reading A song for today

Choices

This quote popped up on a couple of my feeds and dragged me out of the hole I had been hiding in. It strikes close to the heart, especially as an unwilling resident of the Land of the Infertile. It is a noisy place, often filled with a cacophony of baseless assumptions, unsolicited advice and … Continue reading Choices

On doctors’ notes

I got a note from my doctor this morning after I asked where he thought we should go from here: Dear XXXX, having reviewed your notes, I cannot, on medical grounds, advise you to stop. This is because you have consistently been able to produce eggs resulting in at least 1 transfer grade embryo. However, … Continue reading On doctors’ notes

Up, up and away

This script-to-screen of the opening sequence of Up found me by coincidence today. I clicked, of course. Now, let me just say that I have watched Up at least four times. I adored it every single time. It is a beautifully-executed animation that is sad, but also funny and hopeful. I was heartbroken for Carl … Continue reading Up, up and away

Inconceivable

Finally got around to reading Inconceivable: A Woman's Triumph over Despair and Statistics by Julia Indichova (it's also available for Kindle here), and it's one of the best captures of the rawness and desperation of infertility that I have read to date. It's been around since 1997, and I'm not sure how I've managed not … Continue reading Inconceivable