It's not about trying to trust myself, it's about convincing myself that I should.
This quote popped up on a couple of my feeds and dragged me out of the hole I had been hiding in. It strikes close to the heart, especially as an unwilling resident of the Land of the Infertile. It is a noisy place, often filled with a cacophony of baseless assumptions, unsolicited advice and … Continue reading Choices
I got a note from my doctor this morning after I asked where he thought we should go from here: Dear XXXX, having reviewed your notes, I cannot, on medical grounds, advise you to stop. This is because you have consistently been able to produce eggs resulting in at least 1 transfer grade embryo. However, … Continue reading On doctors’ notes
Work has meant blogging has fallen by the wayside, but I had my CD9 scan today and my lining has clocked in at a healthy 8mm! Eight, incidentally, is a number I like, and also sounds like the Mandarin word for prosperity (发) and so is considered especially auspicious. I'm not Chinese, but I'll take … Continue reading Was it something I 8?
This script-to-screen of the opening sequence of Up found me by coincidence today. I clicked, of course. Now, let me just say that I have watched Up at least four times. I adored it every single time. It is a beautifully-executed animation that is sad, but also funny and hopeful. I was heartbroken for Carl … Continue reading Up, up and away
And for today's ever-hopeful, slightly deranged, will-I-ever-get-knocked-up tune, I present... https://open.spotify.com/track/5Th6EdNVhxp0TPX41ZLZk6?si=g7UmbMW6TL6MIiIkDWmsXg Made ya laugh, I hope 😉 T minus 7/8 days to lift off. CW.
If there is one thing that dominates conversations in every TTC (trying to conceive) and IVF chat group I have ever been in, it's pee. Did you POAS (pee on a stick - referring to a home pregnancy test)? Should I POAS? When are you POASing (yes, a verb too!)? Is it too early to … Continue reading On Pee(r) Pressure
I started acupuncture again yesterday and didn't realise how much I needed it/would enjoy it. Those 40 minutes - when I put my phone on flight mode and listen to new age fertility meditation tunes (I'm usually asleep by track 3/4) - are a welcome respite from the chaos of my workday and, as importantly, … Continue reading Prickly realities
One of the biggest issues for women going through IVF (or at least the ones I know) is how isolating it all feels. You struggle with feeling like a failure as a woman and human being. You view the "you had one job" memes differently when you're can't fulfill your basic biological destiny. You're stuck … Continue reading On dark places
I'm psyching myself up for my next FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) in August and, of course, have been frantically consulting my doc (and Dr Google) on the odds are and how to better them). Of course, the stock answer from the former is consistently "zilch", but I thought I would share what I've found online … Continue reading Frozen (the non-Disney version)