Choices

This quote popped up on a couple of my feeds and dragged me out of the hole I had been hiding in. It strikes close to the heart, especially as an unwilling resident of the Land of the Infertile. It is a noisy place, often filled with a cacophony of baseless assumptions, unsolicited advice and … Continue reading Choices

On doctors’ notes

I got a note from my doctor this morning after I asked where he thought we should go from here: Dear XXXX, having reviewed your notes, I cannot, on medical grounds, advise you to stop. This is because you have consistently been able to produce eggs resulting in at least 1 transfer grade embryo. However, … Continue reading On doctors’ notes

Game over. Again

Another day, another failed cycle. I can't say I am surprised - I had given in and taken a HPT yesterday so the beta hcg result was not entirely unexpected. But that's the thing about hope. Even after five botched cycles, even after all the heartbreak, even after all the misadventures, even after all the … Continue reading Game over. Again

Up, up and away

This script-to-screen of the opening sequence of Up found me by coincidence today. I clicked, of course. Now, let me just say that I have watched Up at least four times. I adored it every single time. It is a beautifully-executed animation that is sad, but also funny and hopeful. I was heartbroken for Carl … Continue reading Up, up and away

Inconceivable

Finally got around to reading Inconceivable: A Woman's Triumph over Despair and Statistics by Julia Indichova (it's also available for Kindle here), and it's one of the best captures of the rawness and desperation of infertility that I have read to date. It's been around since 1997, and I'm not sure how I've managed not … Continue reading Inconceivable

One way or another…

And for today's ever-hopeful, slightly deranged, will-I-ever-get-knocked-up tune, I present... https://open.spotify.com/track/5Th6EdNVhxp0TPX41ZLZk6?si=g7UmbMW6TL6MIiIkDWmsXg Made ya laugh, I hope 😉 T minus 7/8 days to lift off. CW.

On dark places

One of the biggest issues for women going through IVF (or at least the ones I know) is how isolating it all feels. You struggle with feeling like a failure as a woman and human being. You view the "you had one job" memes differently when you're can't fulfill your basic biological destiny. You're stuck … Continue reading On dark places