Work has meant blogging has fallen by the wayside, but I had my CD9 scan today and my lining has clocked in at a healthy 8mm! Eight, incidentally, is a number I like, and also sounds like the Mandarin word for prosperity (发) and so is considered especially auspicious. I’m not Chinese, but I’ll take luck where I can find it. *Cue confetti*
I have done a little experimentation this cycle, so I’m not sure if it’s all the raspberry leaf tea or wheatgrass juice I have been drinking, the steak I had last night, the avocado I snuck in at breakfast, the fertility yoga poses I tried after reading Inconceivable… Or the estrogen pills I have been popping liberally. The last one has probably most to do with it.
But anyway, the Doc also gleefully declared it a “gorgeous triple layer. Absolutely purrrfect”. I felt like Simon Cowell should have been pressing the Golden Buzzer and sending me straight into childbirth…
Six cycles in, I still wonder about that… What makes one lining more gorgeous than the next one, especially if the next one also has a triple layer? Do his seasoned eyes see a shimmer or a glossy finish? Or does he tell everyone the same thing? Ditto for “beautiful follicles” vs “follicles” (does anyone have ugly follicles?? I’d like to see beauty magazines deal with THAT one). How much beauty is there to behold in those indistinguishable black blobs? (Of course, that’s not to say my blobs and layers aren’t absolutely stunning, and my ovaries aren’t especially impressively ‘quiet’. Quality stuff.).
Anyway, I digress. I’m pretty pleased with the state of my lining (though heaven only knows if I can tick all of the boxes for the winner of the Ms Uterus Universe). Relieved actually. There is always a period at the start of the cycle when you’re popping the pills and drinking the pomegranate juice wondering if you might go in there and find a big void where your lining is meant to be. I mean, historically, my female bits have managed to make whole embryos disappear, so it’s nice to have some confirmation that I haven’t somehow destroyed something else.
But of course, the real worry of this cycle (and every cycle) is not really the lining. It’s usually my aged eggs, the man’s wayward sperm, and the somewhat questionable embryos that result from the combination. Our final little Frostie, let’s call her G, is a 4BC; and no, we don’t know if it’s a boy or girl since PGS-testing isn’t allowed where we are. I just think she’s a girl. Anyway, I’ve tried not to pay attention to the alphabets. We’ve had AA and AB embryos not stick or get unstuck, and our ectopic resulted from a 4BC (normal pregnancy tissue, just really, really lousy parking. Note to self: Resist bad parking gender slur).
The way my sister puts it, it’s all really just one big game of chance. Sometimes a gorgeous lining meets a seemingly beautiful embryo but there’s no chemistry, and sometimes an average lining meets a slightly quirky embryo and they swipe right. And that’s that.
Ah, the stories we tell ourselves.
Anyway, for now, I am enjoying the fact that my lining is “gorgeous”, pretty much the right thickness for implantation, and we still have at least a week to go before transfer. Next scan is Monday and I hope that by then it will sound like the most AMAZING room available-ad known to embryo-kind: Spacious room in a good district, fully furnished, heating, meals and all utilities included, free-parking and MOVE IN CONDITION!
With some luck G will just walk in, sling her jacket over a chair and say: nice digs, I’ll stay!