I’ve had Beta days

So I guess I should update this blog, not because I have any kind of conclusive news, but because the continuing inconclusive situation might be marginally less frustrating if I vent.

After all that bleeding (10dpt-12dpt), my first beta HCG (a blood test for the ‘pregnancy hormone’) on 13dpt (days past transfer, Friday) was low and somewhat disappointing – 27 mIU/ml. I say somewhat because, after that whole fiasco, I wouldn’t have been entirely surprised if it came back negative (a quick thank you for everyone who held us in your prayers).

It raised eyebrows – it was low, especially given that I had gotten a positive HPT three days prior. The nurse at the centre came right out and said: “I’m not hopeful” (even if, technically, it falls within the ‘normal’ range). I was told to come back today (Monday).

The big debate was whether the HCG had been higher and then fallen, and would fall further (the nurse favoured this one) OR (insert your own favourite theory – a low, slow, miracle, late implanter, potential ectopic, something else).

I held my breath all weekend, watching what looked like fading HPT lines and turning green as many in my Facebook support group come back with first beta readings that were anywhere from 300 to the thousands.

I prayed for a miracle (as did the Man and the few members of my family that know what is going on). We held out hope that this unpredictable cycle would continue to be so.

I guess someone was listening because today, 16dpt (72 hours later), my HCG actually went up, but only to 74mIU/ml. My immediate though: that’s more than double right? Nurse’s immediate reaction: It should have tripled in three days.

To be fair, it’s still an extraordinarily low number as far as HCG goes (going by my transfer date, I am 5 weeks today). She was hoping for 80-100. At least. “Come back Wednesday,” she said, “We’ll see where it goes. Whether its slow or…”

Fortunately, she didn’t complete that sentence, because I really wanted to stab her eye with a tube of Crinone.

So where does that leave me? It’s not down, so it means I am not miscarrying (yet). But the levels aren’t high enough for anyone to be convinced it will be viable.

Much as I hate her skepticism, my nurse has every reason to be cautious. Low/slow HCG numbers may mean an impending miscarriage or an ectopic (and I really don’t want go back there), even if 15% of low/slow HCG starters go on to have normal pregnancies. How lucky am I feeling today?

Anyway, I am back to suspending breathing until Wednesday, when we’re hoping that my HCG will do some kind of record vault into the 200/300/more levels, and somehow get well into the thousands by the end of the week.

Let’s hope the numbers continue to get beta better.


Ps: Thank you for all the prayers, positivity, and wishes of luck, which CLEARLY worked the first time around. Please please please keep it coming!

PPS: Wonder if I should change the name of this blog to just “Pregnant”. Maybe the “almost” is throwing my luck 😛

7 thoughts on “I’ve had Beta days

  1. Thinking of you! Hey now, there are plenty of miraculous low HCG stories online. Fingers crossed that those numbers are going up. I’d be going crazy right about now. Happy pregnancy limbo to you :).

    Liked by 2 people

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